GOOD NEWS FOR YOU!
Yesterday, Congress and the BUSH administration announced that the rumors are true... as long as you're as broke as most of us are, you're getting a free tax rebate.
Everyone who made under $75,000 last year individually or $150,000 as a couple will get a check. You get $600 if you file taxes as an individual or $1,200 if you're a couple.
And, if you have kids, you'll get a $300 bonus per kid. (See... for once having kids isn't going to COST you a fortune..)
If you earn more than $3,000 a year... but don't pay taxes because your income is so low... you'll get a $300 check.
The goal of the free money is to get the middle class some spending cash, which they want us to use to BUY STUFF... and, hopefully, stimulate the economy and get it out of the septic tank it's currently buried in.
Up to 116 million Americans should be eligible for the free tax rebates. The checks could be in your mailbox by June.
THE NEWS WE DIDN'T USE
**MAYBE SHE SHOULD'VE STOLE A CAR FIRST!**
On Wednesday, 22-year-old Channel Gaskin of Sandy Springs, Georgia (--a north Atlanta suburb), decided to rob a bank. And it went pretty well for her... she went into the Wachovia Bank in Sandy Springs, demanded money and got it... without even showing a weapon.
After she got her bag of cash, she ran into a Quizno's across the street. That's when the dye bomb in the bag exploded and covered her... and the money... in orange ink.
Channel left the Quizno's and ran into a Publix grocery store, hid her clothes and the cash in a bathroom, managed to find some new clothes, and changed. Then, she went outside to get in her getaway car.
Unfortunately for Channel, she hadn't planned ahead very well... so her getaway car was actually just... the PUBLIC BUS. And while she stood there, waiting for it, with her skin still covered in orange dye... the police drove by and saw her.
She was arrested and has been charged with robbery.
After the police got her, Channel told them she thought she could get away with using the bus as her getaway vehicle because... that worked when she robbed ANOTHER Wachovia earlier this month.
On January 15th, Channel robbed a bank in DeKalb County, Georgia, and got away on a bus. Since she confessed to that robbery, it looks like she'll be charged for that too.
Steve Rose, a lieutenant on the Sandy Springs police, says that confessing to a second robbery for no particular reason, quote, "just wasn't too bright."
**GOOD LUCK GETTING A NEW JOB!**
41-year-old Marie Cooley of Jacksonville, Florida, is an architect. And last week, she was looking through the newspaper and, in the classifieds, she saw a job that looked almost EXACTLY like hers... complete with her boss's phone number as the contact number.
Marie concluded that she was getting CANNED from Steven E. Hutchins Architects. And she wasn't going down without taking the company down with her.
So, late on Sunday night, Marie broke in to her office, went on to the company's server... logged in with her own account... and deleted SEVEN YEARS worth of architectural drawings. The value of those files is around $2.5 MILLION.
Here's the problem. Marie WASN'T getting fired. The ad was running because her boss's wife ALSO runs a different architecture firm... and SHE was looking to get a person on her staff who was like Marie.
So even though Marie wasn't SUPPOSED to get fired... after she deleted $2.5 MILLION worth of the company's files, she DID get fired. And even worse... she was also ARRESTED for damaging computer equipment and sabotage.
What she did is a second-degree felony and could get her up to five years in prison.
PEOPLE LOVE PETS!
How much do people love their pets??? In a new survey, pet owners say that, as this country's financial situation keeps getting worse, the area they're LEAST likely to cut their spending is on their pet.
The first thing to go will be luxury items... then spontaneous purchases... then electronics... then entertainment... then new clothes... then household goods... then groceries... and, lastly, pet supplies.
Married people apologize twice as often as those who are single, divorced or separated -- even if they feel they're not to blame, says a Zogby poll of 7,590 adults.
THE THINGS WE HIDE
This is why The Moment of Truth is so huge on TV... We all have something to hide! Here are the results of a huge survey of thousands of men and women in the U.S. and Canada about LYING and CONFESSIONS. Here are some of the best things they found...
*53% of men and 54% of women have told a lie to get out of a bad date.
*32% of men and 43% of women have given someone a FAKE PHONE NUMBER.
*10% of men and 6% of women admit that they've lied on their TAXES.
*33% of men and 32% of women admit that they've secretly dated a co-worker. 3% of men and 2% of women did it to try to get a promotion.
*16% of men and 28% of women say they would have cosmetic surgery if no one ever found out.
*8% of men say they'd give their fiancée a CUBIC ZIRCONIUM instead of a diamond, if she'd never find out.
*And 39% of men and 35% of women still have their ex's phone number saved in their phone.