THE RULES OF LATENESS
Occasional tardiness is unavoidable, but that doesn't mean it should ruin your night -- or that of the people you're meeting. Depending on how late you are, here's how Esquire tells you to handle it.
10 Minutes: Call, apologize, and say you're running five minutes behind. This puts the inconvenienced parties at ease and keeps their eyes off the clock.
20 Minutes: Call, apologize, and provide an excuse. ("I left without my wallet.") If the group's becoming impatient, at least they're coddled.
30 Minutes: Call, apologize, and encourage them to start without you. Food can be a palliative.
40 Minutes: Call, apologize, and blame traffic. They'll think it's a lie, but it's one they've used before.
50 Minutes: Call, apologize, and cite a pet or child issue.
1 Hour: Call, apologize profusely, and consider picking up a gift. Then again, maybe you should just get there. You're late enough already.
More Than One Hour: Call and hope to leave a voice mail. At this point, you shouldn't be coming. You should also look for new friends.
IS IT ACTUALLY DECAF?
Here's more proof that decaf coffee is really just regular coffee in a pot with an orange rim.
"Consumer Reports" tested six different cups of decaf coffee from six different huge chains: Burger King, Dunkin' Donuts, McDonald's, Seattle's Best, 7-Eleven and Starbucks. Their goal was to find out how much caffeine was ACTUALLY in the decaf.
What they found: In more than half the cups, the decaf had almost no caffeine... under five milligrams. But some of the cups had WAY more. . .
... One cup from Dunkin' Donuts had 32 milligrams.
... One from Seattle's Best had 29.
... And one from Starbucks had 21.
The standard amount of caffeine in regular, caffeinated coffee is about 100 milligrams.
The chain that had the most consistently low-caffeine decaf was McDonald's... all of the cups there had under five milligrams.
THURSDAY TRIVIA QUESTION
29% of women (Glamour readers) say this is something you should not do on Halloween. What is it?
Answer: Go dressed in his and hers Halloween costumes.