Thursday, June 14, 2007

JUNE 14, 2007

Wondering why your coworkers aren't inviting you to their exciting group lunches at Chili's? It's probably because they don't like you. And they probably don't like you because you do things from this list of 10 things that annoy your coworkers. . .

1) TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF. When you're constantly talking about the mundane details of your life to your coworkers. . . they'll eventually get annoyed.

2) ANSWERING YOUR CELL DURING MEETINGS. Meetings are probably one of the most boring parts of the job. And when you answer your cell phone in the middle of one. . . it'll just make it drag on even LONGER for others.

3) SENDING ENDLESS VOICEMAILS. Brevity is the order of the day. . . EVERY day. If you need to call your coworker about work, keep the message brief and to the point.

4) PLAYING GAMES AND ACTING SUPERIOR. Nobody likes a bully. It makes it harder for others to do their job when you're constantly acting superior to them. Sucking up to the boss is in this category, as well.

5) HAMMERING ON YOUR COMPUTER KEYS. When you work in tiny cubicles, you can hear everything the people on all sides of you are doing and vice-versa. Be quiet and respectful.

6) USING UNPROFESSIONAL LANGUAGE. Unless the job absolutely calls for it. . . try to use professional language. Don't say "like" every other word. . . it makes you sound young and inexperienced.

7) DOING BILLS AT THE OFFICE. Whether you're paying your bills, planning your wedding, placing an order online, or whatever. . . avoid doing it at the office. It looks pretty bad when others are doing work and you're managing your personal life.

8) NOT FOLLOWING THE DRESS CODE. Dress codes for work these days really depend on the company. Each one is different. When in doubt. . . it's better to dress conservatively.

9) TAKING IT EASY WHEN YOU TELECOMMUTE. Telecommuting is a dream job. There's really no reason for you to slack off. Meet your deadlines, be available during business hours, and do great work.

10) ACTING UNETHICALLY. This is pretty much a given. When you violate a company policy, it'll go down through the grapevine, and your coworkers will find out about it and lose respect for you. Just do the right thing and this will never be an issue.

The issue of "People" magazine that drops tomorrow is the annual HOTTEST BACHELORS issue. And this year's cover boy is the man you've already seen shirtless enough to last you the rest of your life but STILL haven't had enough of. . .


"People" quotes Matthew's Mama, Kay, as saying that her son's greatest attribute is his INTEGRITY. She says, quote, "When he gives you his time, he gives it to you."

Other hot bachelors this year include. . . JAKE GYLLENHAAL, BLAKE LEWIS, APOLO ANTON OHNO, and JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.

This is EXCELLENT news for everyone who's experienced the anguish of lifting a fork full of rich, delicious cake toward your mouth. . . and just before you can taste the goodness, the cake falls on the floor. . . and out of your life forever.

Two microbiology students at Connecticut College in New London, Connecticut, say that the FIVE-SECOND RULE is for real.

But, they say, even if you can't scoop it up in five seconds, it's OK. In their tests, they found that the five-second rule should really be the THIRTY-second rule. (!!!)

They dropped Skittles and apple slices on the floor in their school's dining hall, and left them there for different lengths of time, from one second on up.

They found that it took more than 30 seconds for bacteria to cultivate on the wet apple slices. . . and it took more than a MINUTE for bacteria to cultivate on the dry Skittles.

One thing to remember, though: Just because the bacteria didn't cultivate, it doesn't mean your food is completely germ-free. You just have a smaller chance of the bacteria mobilizing against you and making you sick if you pick it up and eat it quickly.